I think you write very well because you make the audience really feel for Cara. I think you capture her really well. I found the barmaid scene to be sad but true to character. She WOULD try to drown her sorrows in rough sex. It is what she knows. Yet you also include enough to indicate that Cara is envious of ,let's call it, the "smooth sex" (to differentiate it from rough sex since I don't like the term Vanilla) between Richard and Kahlan. She thinks about the fact that Richard isn't marking up Kahlan then she goes and marks up a tavern wench. It is a lot like when she grips her agiels. She is using both actions to force herself to go back to the party line which is "Mord Sith are brutes and don't have feelings and are only meant to inflict and endure pain." She does this because the alternative is to dare hope and wish for smooth sex with Kahlan. In a way she is trying to re-break herself.

I noticed that in her dream she is the bottom and Kahlan is the top. So even in her dreams she doesn't want to hurt Kahlan. I think the show established that for all her bragging Cara doesn't really think herself worthy and you've done a great job of expanding on that idea. Anyway great job and I'm looking forward to the rest.