This will not end in fire at all

[seriousfic]

Speedy Gonzalez movie to be made, have George Lopez, be politically correct. Yeah, that'll be great.

Older audience: Hey, Speedy Gonzalez, I loved those cartoons! I'll take my kids to go see that!

George Lopez: And it's not racist like it used to be!

Older audience: ...Speedy Gonzalez isn't racist.

George Lopez: Yes, he is. But not anymore!

Older audience: Why are you making a movie about a character you think is racist?

George Lopez: So that you'll want to kill yourself even more as you witness the abomination we've created in the name of providing kids with imagination-free, merchandise-driven crapfests!

Young audience: We'll pretty much eat up anything so long as you can fill a two minute trailer with talking animals, dated pop culture references, and CGI.

Comments

[rann.livejournal.com]

I bet he wasn't even the first Hispanic "name" they thought of... just the least controversial. The Hispanic Wayne Brady, if you will.

In a few years and a few more "family friendly" endeavors, Lopez is going to have to get on some sketch comedy show and threaten to choke a bitch.

[colonel-green.livejournal.com]

No other male Hispanic comedians of markedly higher profile come to mind.

[rann.livejournal.com]

There's John Leguizamo, for one. I doubt he was doing anything he wouldn't drop for an actual paycheck. And if they're going to go for a "Young Speedy sets out to find his place in the world", he's gotta have a more appropriate voice for it than Lopez, on whom you can just hear the middle age.

There's also another high-profile comedian who at least pretends to be Hispanic. But let's be real, no one who could pass a competency hearing would suggest him for anything vaguely family-oriented.

Though really, I think the real key here is that Lopez and his wife are the producers. I somehow imagine that had a loooooot to do with this choice.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Cheech and Chong?