Star Wars: The Pecs Unleashed

[seriousfic]

So I got to the Felucia level of The Force Unleashed and I'm wondering... what's with the Bondage Queen Starkiller outfit? I mean, look at this thing. I think he's picked up some bad habits from that Soul Caliber game he cameoed in...

Starkiller: Proxy, how do I get a girl to like me?

Proxy: Have you tried a Jedi mind trick?

Starkiller: No.

Proxy: Then have you tried showing her the guns?

Starkiller: I don't use blasters.

Proxy: No, the gun show.

Starkiller: Ah.

A quick costume change later...

Starkiller: So, Juno... I was just crushing the Rebellion some, totally stomping on some non-humans.

Juno: That's nice. If you'll excuse me, the quartermaster just found me a top that zips up, so I'm very excited about that...

Starkiller: DO NOT WAAAAAAANT!

On Tattooine

Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if millions of sperm cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.