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Sean, don't think being sympathetic to her will spare you from Emma's murderous rage. Like all time with Emma, it will only result in your final demise being more painful. That punching bag? Is you, my friend.
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Criticizing a man's golf swing? Now that's just mean.
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From a look at the Generation X series, you'd think Emma Frost and Banshee would have some sexual tension. After all, they're the only two adults in the cast (not that that would stop Emma), they're straight members of opposing sexes... by the laws of canon-shipping, clearly there should be a desire to fuck.

But boy, did you make the wrong prediction. The right prediction, as Mr. T would say, is pain.



This will end in tears. )
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I know the humble cape gets a lot of flack these days, thanks to certain kids' movies that will go unnamed, but did you know that in the event of cold temperatures, you can take it off to warm your lady love, both impressing her with your chivalry and showing off the goods? Note that this works even if she's invulnerable to temperatures far below breezing. Also, popped collars make for great earmuffs. Who's the douchebag now, eh?

Not that Barda isn't getting into the spirit of things. "Off-hand, I'd say it would take a fifty-ton tank to open this door." What would you think if it were a guy saying that to a girl? That's right. Total pick-up line. I'd tell you two to take a cold shower, but judging by the Arctic winds, apparently even that wouldn't do any good.
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I was just looking through an X-Men: First Class backissue (could Wanda and Jean BE anymore married?) when I noticed this:



That punching dummy has a handlebar mustache. Is Nick Fury venting frustrations arising from working with Dum-Dum Dugan? I think it'd look something... like this.

The scene: A secret gadget workshop full of strange gizmos. Dum-Dum Dugan is trying on a rocket-derby hat when Nick Fury bursts in.

Nick: SWORD, Dum-Dum? Really? Who else have you been working with? STRIKE? SAFE? HATE?

Dugan: I can't work with you on everything, Nick!

Nick: How long has this been going on?

Dugan: I did some missions with... Captain Savage and his Leatherneck Raiders.

Nick: *gasps*

Dugan: They meant nothing to me, Nick!

Nick runs off. Sarah McLachlan plays I Will Remember You over a montage of sad scenes. Dum-Dum Dugan screams in the rain, Nick Fury cries on Valentina's shoulder, Dum-Dum Dugan goes through a scrapbook of his missions with Nick until he sees a caption that says "best buds forever" and breaks down crying.
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You can only avert your eyes for so long, Terra. Gaze upon her works, if you know what I mean, and despair!

Alternately, Lavarians hate all-girl make-out parties! Once more, Power Girl, your hubris has brought you low!
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On a sidenote, if I were Chamber, I'd cosplay as Black Mage all the time. It's the perfect cover!
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Don't worry, Firestar, I'm sure a lot of people would "toss around microwave blasts" if they thought about the love you have for Emma.
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So, after Mary-Jane gets introduced via blind date and you know what line, it only follows that the next show starts with Peter rejoicing over being able to take Felicia out on a date, even if it’s only to tutor her. Which, okay, is probably because the shows were aired in some Byzantine order of nonsensicalness, but it’s amusing nonetheless. And there’s the classic “accidentally knocked over some flowers, picked them up, date thinks they’re for her.”

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Read more... )
seriousfic: (Emma "fucking" Frost)
One thing I find interesting about comic books, and their fans' instinctual attempts to create order out of the chaos that results from dozens of different authors trying to write the same characters in new situations year after year, is that occasionally you get an entirely random coincidence that nonetheless reveals something about the characters.

Case in point... )

Now, what you all came here to see... hardcore lesbian subtext.

Read more... )
seriousfic: (Cat/Spider)
You kids today with your Avatar and your Naruto and your Spectacular Spider-Man don't know how good you have it. Back in my day, our cartoons couldn't even say the word "kill". Spider-Man couldn't throw a punch, the buildings were cheaply animated CGI, and the Hobgoblin was a blatant rip-off of Mark Hamill's Joker, without the good writing.

Without the budget or freedom for any real action, Spider-Man TAS was more of a melodramatic soap opera than anything else (no child of the 90s will EVAH forget the love theme from Spider-Man). But we liked it! We loved it! And damnit, but I'll still say Spider-Man sounds like the TAS/video-game version over Tobey Maguire. "Spider-sense! Danger!"

Also, Black Cat and Spider-Man were totally doing it. )
seriousfic: (Cat/Spider)


HIS HANDS! That is a lot of surprise sex for one kiss. Through a mask, even. Thatta girl, Felicia.

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows, consider yourself under consideration.
seriousfic: (^_^)
Here, have some Misty Knight and Iron Fist engaging in tongue-fu. You know what else is made of iron? Love machines.

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