May. 31st, 2014

seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)

Disney: Hey mofos, you ready for a story that replaces the childish black-and-white morality of the original Sleeping Beauty with moral ambiguity, shades of gray, and three-dimensional character work?

Audience: Yeah!

Disney: Well, once upon a time, there were two kingdoms, one of evil, violent humans and one of innocent, peace-loving fairies...

Audience: Oh boy...

Disney: Oh, what, you want Maleficent to just be utterly, one-dimensionally evil for no reason? This is the new millennium! Villains have to have sympathetic backstories and justifiable reasoning for even the most evil actions! Unless they're white men, of course.

Stefan: Hi there!

Audience: ...

Stefan: Man, I sure do love Maleficent.

Audience: ...

Narrator: But then Stefan got a taste of evil and decided it was great!

Stefan: I HATE MALEFICENT!

Audience: So, in forty years, is there going to be a movie where Stefan is the hero and, say, one of the Fairies is the villain...?

Read more... )

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